What is way to eat rice with hands in front of westerners such that it doesn't appear to be yucky?

Question

In India, we eat rice using our fingers. Generally in the West, a fork or spoon is used. I have tried eating rice with spoon but I don't feel satisfied with it.

We eat dry rice but we mix curry and vegetables with it and then eat it with our hands.

Is there a way to eat rice with your hands in front of Westerners such that it doesn't appear to be disgusting to them? By disgusting I mean that they shouldn't feel like vomiting or looking away to avoid me. Even though in India we eat with our fingers, many people eat such that their whole palm is covered with food. That indeed looks disgusting.

I cannot avoid hurting them by following different etiquette, but I certainly want to maintain a degree of cleanliness.

Answer 1

Who are you trying to eat in front of? There's no single answer here.

If it's strangers: there is no way. You must always respect local custom in order to meet the standards of etiquette local to your surroundings. Use a fork, spoon, or chopsticks (chopsticks are not local custom in the West but are seen as exotic rather than uncouth).

If it's business relationships or customers: use a fork. You could make relationships that allow you to eat with your fingers but it is not worth it; respect local norms and make your business relationships easier.

If it's friends, colleagues, or classmates: eat with your fingers and talk to them about Indian norms. They should respect your culture and, indeed, be interested in it. If they're not, stop wasting your time with them.

If it's a potential romantic partner: eat with a fork the first time then start doing it your way. You need to signal that you're capable of behaving in public but you should then relax into whatever makes you happy. If they can't deal with your cultural differences, avoid that relationship.

Answer 2

Do you have some kind of roti or some kind of flat bread that can go with the rice? People may be less edgy if they think of it as eating taco or burritos by hand.

It might come down to whom you're eating with. Westerners do eat BBQ ribs, fries, hamburgers with hands as well. Even those that do not might not be appalled if you use your fingers in a sufficiently dainty fashion.

Answer 3

A bit of open mindness will not kill you, the same open mindness you'd like to receive from other people who you think find your habits disgusting.

Follow me:

First and foremost, you can eat the way you want: when it comes to western culture, the only thing we generally do not like are noises, eating with the mouth wide open (included speaking with full mouth), and (excessively) dirtying the table. Eating rice with hands will be seen (mostly) as strange, not disgusting.

Second, context. Are you eating at a formal dinner with your colleagues and a client? Eat with the fork, as everybody else. Are you eating at the work's canteen? Eat the way you prefer and let other deal with their limits. And so on.

Third, respect and open mindness: you are worried other peoples find you disgusting for eating rice with hands, but at the same time you show the same "closed mind" (in a way, ok? I'm not trying to offend you) in wanting to eat rice with hands at all cost otherwise you will not feel satisfied; believe me, eating with a fork will not starve you as will not change food nutritional content.

Even more if you are eating at a foreign restaurant, e.g. at an italian restaurant rice is cooked and thought to be eatean with a fork. Respect local culture, open yourself to a new experience, and try to learn a different way to enjoy food.

So, in the end: feel free to do whatever fit you most, don't be afraid of other people judging you (their fault) but at the same time don't close yourself in your garden (your fault)

Answer 4

The only realistic option is to eat somewhere where others won't see you: either in the privacy of your home or in a restaurant which offers private cabins. Otherwise you will always face people who find the practice off-putting.

If you're just a random tourist I wouldn't worry about it — no one is going to tell you off or expel you from the restaurant for eating with your hands, unless it's a super fancy establishment. If, on the other hand, you would like to behave like the locals — use the trusty fork and spoon.

Source: living in the West.

Answer 5

If I as Westerner need to eat rice with my hand in front of other westerners, I would do the following things:

• Wash my hands thoroughly. Cut my nails to minimum (Something under the nails is yucky).

• Use rice which is so sticky that I can take it and hold it without something dropping down. (Dropping down is considered yucky). Use a kerchief on your lap...even if you are not dropping, it makes a better impression.

• No sauce which is glistening (fat on the fingers is yucky) or dropping down.

• All other parts of the dish are cut down in size so that I can hold them safely and grab them easily.

• I hold the dish with thumb, forefinger and middlefinger down. Then I move the dish to the mouth, open my mouth as wide as absolutely necessary without risking dropping and eat it.

• I have either a container with water and a kerchief or a wet kerchief. If my cheeks or the region over the mouth are covered (yucky), I wash my fingers in the container and clean them, after that I clean my face. I would also have a small mirror available to see if I have something on the face (or I have a companion and we both indicate if the other has something on the face).

Answer 6

As I mentioned in a comment, it's the rice specifically that's the 'problem'. Unless it's Sushi Rice, eating rice with finders can be quite messy. This is what 'Westerners' would see as bad manners.

However, many cultures with Indian influence or similarities eat rice and other foods with their hands using essentially a food utensil such as Injera or Naan. This is perfectly acceptable though possibly a bit unusual if you are eating Mexican cuisine.

Answer 7

You appear already to know an answer - to use eating implement(s); a spoon or fork.

Following the rules of etiquette, one must be prepared to sacrifice one's own cultural norms for the comfort/sensibility of those around you. Similarly, those around you who obey the same rules will afford you the same courtesy; they should not make you feel uncomfortable for deviating from their norms.

Who yields to whom is generally a matter of location - "When in Rome, do as the Romans do".

Answer 8

The most polite thing to do is just eat with a fork or spoon and accept that making some compromises with the culture you are in is a normal part of human relations. This is the most socially 'safe' approach'.

Having said that politeness goes both ways you will probably find that with most people if you explain that you are used to eating rice with you fingers and would they mind if you did so everybody will be a lot more comfortable. Bear in in mind that westerners may not be used to seeing people eat 'wet' food with their fingers so if you just go on and do it they may be confused but if you explain why you are doing it most people will understand.

You may also find that if you are eating an Asian meal others will join in with eating with their fingers and if you explain it as being the 'authentic' way of eating that type of food they may be enthusiastic to try that way of eating.

Personally if I was in a foreign country I would follow the lead of the other people at my table and even ask for advice as to the best way to tackle it but I would also not be embarrassed to admit it if I was struggling to eat it in the proper local manner.

Answer 9

I have no idea how you specifically eat. I have even less idea how 'everyone' "In India" eats.

In Midwest US (not known for being cosmopolitan), where I live, nausea would be most likely triggered not by eating rice with the hands, but by higher than expected speed while with eating with the hands. Or licking the hands during or after eating. And, for some, food remaining on the face for longer than expected.

Therefore, "than expected" is the only problem here. I suggest trying to eat around young children a few times, and see at what point the attentive parents react. Take that average, and then err slightly on the more cautious side. The attentive parents will never have allowed their children to get to the 'make others nauseous' stage, and by taking the conservative average, you can be confident you are well within limits.

I can't speak for all 'Western' cultures, but I would think that, if the goal is to prevent nausea in onlookers, you should have a pretty easy time. Use many napkins often, and you shouldn't have to think about that goal again.

Though, I must say... this seems an odd goal to my Midwestern US sensibilities.

Answer 10

It's important to recall here that we "westerners" wontedly eat loads of stuff with the hands: hotdogs, carrots - any kind of reasonably stiff food that holds together as a whole to some degree. So I would say that it's not the particular deed that some westerners find offputting, but rather the following two fears / neuroses that arise from seeing someone eat something that smears, or leaves some kind of residue on the hand:

1. The thought of having to shake hands with someone or being touched by someone who has the sticky residue of rice on their hands. "My new / favorite suit will be ruined", "I hate that icky sticky feeling on my skin", "Oh no, my new couch will be tainted forever" and so forth are likely to be thoughts running through an onlooker's head at some level. This is mitigated by having a cloth at the table that one can very obviously wipe one's hands with whilst still sitting after a meal and then to excuse oneself to wash one's hands after one is done with the course in question;

2. It is important to understand that we "westerners" think of our own immune systems as utterly incompetent and that we will be felled by some dreadful illness through any minor meeting with microbes. After they have listened to such phobias for a lifetime, this belief may not be altogether unfounded. So there is a contamination phobia here. This means that if you are sharing from a dish, some people are going to be yucked out if you serve yourself more from a dish with your hands that you have been eating with. So you'd probably need to excuse yourself to wash your hands before serving again. See the "Seinfeld" "Double Dipping" episode where Elaine is grossed out by George's putting his tidbit back into the communal sauce bowl after he has chewed on the former, for more insight into this neurosis.

Answer 11

@Johns-305 is right, it's not the hand part that is the problem, but the rice.

I would say that it depends on the kind of meal you're having. If it's an indian meal, I would not see any problem as you know better than westerners how people who created that meal eat that meal (you could even teach something). Similarly, if it's a western meal, you should eat is as they do. This should be a good rule of thumb, but any deviation shouldn't be any big.

For instance pizza should apparently be eaten with your hands. Another example is in Ethiopian restaurants, at least in Paris, France, where everyone eats with its hands (including rice).

Answer 12

I'm a Brit and I love rice. If practicable, I normally 'spoon' it with a fork held in my right hand, even in an expensive restaurant. If other Brits are offended, that's their problem. I probably wouldn't do it in front of the Queen, though, but that particular situation has never arisen. I have yet to master the skill of eating rice with chopsticks. I must eat out more.

Answer 13

Have you tried to "eat" the rice before it was cooked? In Europe you can expect that the cooked rice will behave on a plate that way. The rice here is usually not as sticky as rice for sushi, for example.

People here are usually very tolerant. Some people eat their pizza with bare hands, some use fork and knife. Some people bite the meat from the bones, some tear it on a plate, some use fork and knife to do so. Some people eat chips with bare hands, some use fork. Some people eat the burger with bare hands, some use fork and knife. Some people use sticks in asian restaurant, some use fork and knife.

Yes, some people find the unusual way odd or even disgusting, but one can expect that such people will find you disgusting because of [insert reason here] first. They doesn't deserve your effort at all.

If you can eat your food without excessive noise, spreading your food over whole table, floor, walls or ceiling it will be fine. Personally, I prefer using sticks in asian restaurant; but If someone doesn't know how to use them the fork and knife is The way how to eat there.

tl;dr
Try to eat rice prepared here and find the cleanest and most elegant way suitable for you.