No fraternity would allow what you want. Your wish seems to me more boyish than masculine.

Like in dangerous sports like archery:
The first what a responsible person would do, if others seem to not taking things serious enough, is to stop them to participate.

Just to rectify some things: I am a member of a Corps (political neutral and other nationalities welcome) which is a "fighting" fraternity. True is:

- Dueling is not only illegal, but also morally considered as bad by the vast majority of us members of "schlagende Verbindungen". There is only a quite small group practising it.

- What we still do as a tradition, is the "Mensur" ("Bestimmungsmensur" where you are not allowed to chose your opponent to avoid duels for example), mostly as a prove of commitment to the fraternity: It is "fighting" with sharp blades, but with a number of important rules to minimize injuries, some of them imply for example, that only opponents of same size, speed and skill are allowed to fight each other, more harsh rules apply to distance, stance, technique, and so on.

- It is a good habit to get acquainted to your former opponent (always from another fraternity) after the fight, to even get friends, and least exchange a silver plate (or similar) as a reminder on that.

- For me, I have seen strong advantages for the cohesion of the fraternity because of this. But I am not fanatic in this point, I see the disadvantages too. For me it was never a main point, but this differs for others. True is, there _is_ a difference between fraternities who "fight" and others in cohesion and team spirit, this is the main point in my eyes, why we continue with that, besides tradition.

- For me, but everybody sees it in it's own way, a scar shows no prove of being a man, more of being a bad or at least careless fighter.

- Fraternities are often critized as mentioned above. One point is, there are as many types of fraternities as political parties, some are very right-wing, that's not false, and there are not few who love excessive drinking, but that can happen in the twenties... At least one cannot judge all fraternities at once. We have had also non-alcoholics, conscientious objectors, and others as members- both not the majority, clearly :-)

One thing mentioned above is definetely untrue: 
"steep hierarchies.." I don't see that. There is an initiation phase where you have to work more, this is true, but the "leaders" and positions are changing every semester, every member has the chance and is expected to accept duties and charges, after some time. In the opposite, German fraternities have a long democratic tradition, this was one reason of their existence, and there are some similarities to a parliament process in the fraternity life.
Fraternities were forbidden by the Nazis for example.