I usually work a lot alone with computers at the University while doing research and the like. I spend on average 10 hours per day. At the weekend I do not work and try to enjoy the free time with my wife. My problem is with long holidays, I mean two weeks of holidays. Even if I like the place we will visit, when we go with more people, even if they are friends of mine, I usually get quite anxious given that we have to follow some schedule, and there is always somebody giving "orders" and so on, and also at time I feel like I would like to be alone, perhaps even working!, but I hardly try to avoid this, although unsuccessfully. I do not understand why this happens to me since I consider myself a social person. So my question is, in travels and with more people, how can one enjoy it, thanks.
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1So if you don't like it, why do you travel in big groups and not alone (maybe with your wife)?– RoflcoptrExceptionCommented Apr 22, 2012 at 16:41
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because my wife likes this kind of things and sometimes I just can not avoid it– Open the wayCommented Apr 22, 2012 at 16:50
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So you're going on an organized tour? Or do you travel by your own with a couple of friends?– RoflcoptrExceptionCommented Apr 22, 2012 at 16:54
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the latter, usually– Open the wayCommented Apr 22, 2012 at 18:52
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but more than a couple, we are usually 10 people or so. some of them I know them while the others do not– Open the wayCommented Apr 22, 2012 at 18:52
3 Answers
Just go with the flow - make sure you (and your wife) are self sufficient, so if a plan someone else is managing goes wrong, you now you two can still have fun. This can take a lot of the worry out of organised events.
Alternatively, just work to a couple of meeting points through the day, say lunch and dinner, and do your own thing until then, just meeting up with them for meals (or for anything that does sound interesting)
A lot of people do like to thoroughly plan holidays, but I sympathise with you - in general I like to have a couple of key targets I want to see, but around that I like to get up and have a think about it after breakfast and just see what happens.
For me holiday=relaxation, not following a schedule, so I just work around others plans.
Key in such situations is to "live and let live". I think it is normal to require some personal time. Some need it more then others and sometimes even an individual needs a lot of personal time one day, only to fully enjoy the group the other day.
Instead of you making the focal point by expressing the need for personal time, just state that everybody needs personal time and try to allow that for everybody. Some won't need it but you would be surprised how many think alike.
I've traveled with friends who call the shots before - it can be a bit nerve wracking. If it's someone you know well, make it a point to voice when you'd rather skip out on the group plan for the day. Just because you travel together doesn't mean you have to spend 24hr/day together. It helps to remember the perks involved with group travel too - being able to split costs & save some money and the fact that you'll be making memories with people. You can't do that alone. Still, a lot of it is about trying to be accepting of others' travel styles.
