What etiquette is involved for copulation in hotel (not motel) beds?

There doesn't seem to be a lot of information about this around.

  • 33
    Well this is going to be a Hot Question
    – David K
    Commented Aug 12, 2015 at 14:23
  • 57
    Buy her dinner first. Maybe flowers. Make sure she wants it. That's about it.
    – Flimzy
    Commented Aug 12, 2015 at 15:30
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    Actually, I'm voting as unclear. There is no personal etiquette difference between using a Hotel and your place of residence. Why Hotel and not Motel? To me, it's unclear as to what you are actually asking here.
    – CGCampbell
    Commented Aug 12, 2015 at 17:29
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    Could I suggest that we replace the overly technical term "copulation" with the more generally understood, and still tasteful, "sex"? It will also be better for searching. Commented Aug 12, 2015 at 19:22
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    @cgcampbell: I think this is not about etiquette differences with respect to your partner, but the other hotel guests and staff (particularly those who wash, or don't wash, the bedding and linens). Those features typically don't exist at your own residence. I agree, though, that I don't see any particular reason why hotels should differ from motels as to the appropriate etiquette. Commented Aug 12, 2015 at 20:10

3 Answers 3


There is nothing wrong with having sex in hotel beds. Treat it like your own bed. Don't stain the sheets too much, since someone else has to clean it.

Think of all the people going on "romantic breaks", or honeymoons, or a wedding. Plenty of people have sex in hotel rooms.

You should put a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the door.

  • 2
    '"romantic breaks", or honeymoons, or a wedding' :-) More like think about men and women spending 200 nights/year on business away from their families/friends in strange cities
    – Calchas
    Commented Aug 12, 2015 at 16:56
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    @pnuts Actually, good hotels tend to have well sound-proofed rooms, I can't recall ever being seriously disturbed by other guests in my years of business travel. Plywood partitions in backpacker hostels are another story. Commented Aug 13, 2015 at 5:26
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    @jpatokal Even partitions don't help when it's happening in your dorm :/ (shudders)
    – Mark Mayo
    Commented Aug 13, 2015 at 5:53

Close the door. Even better, place the Do Not Disturb sign too, particularly during hours when house-keeping usually takes place. Plenty of maids open the door quickly otherwise.

You do not have to make the bed after, but do cleanup after yourselves if there are any fluids left outside of you or your partner(s). As a corollary, dispose of condoms yourself. Don't leave any used ones on the floor or other furniture. Maids are there to cleanup but most would rather not clean that stuff!

Do not worry too much. Hotels are often used for sex. You will make noise and you will hear others make noise. I would try to keep it down but no one expects you to be whisper-quiet.


Generally, the only etiquette involves getting informed consent. If you are unsure how to get informed consent, I suggest following this script:

Party #1: Pardon me. I hate to bother you. Would you like to do it?

Party #2: Why yes. And it isn't any bother at all.

Party #1: Then we shall do it.

Party #2: Agreed.

  • 38
    Yes, that's how all my copulation requests go! Commented Aug 12, 2015 at 16:07
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    @ShantnuTiwari That's almost how my requests go, except that the answer is generally "No." or sometimes "No!"
    – Johnny
    Commented Aug 12, 2015 at 22:46
  • 3
    Boy was I doing it wrong all this time! Commented Aug 13, 2015 at 19:17
  • While it might have been funny to post, this does not answer the question, not even a bit. Commented Feb 7, 2022 at 10:36

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