I'm planning on visiting Japan for two weeks. While dating isn't the purpose of my trip, I hope to socialize a bit with people my age, including some après-ski, and wouldn't mind if it resulted in dating.

Is researching dating tips likely to be worthwhile, useless, or counterproductive?

Reasons that I suspect it may be counter-productive:

  1. Researching Japanese norms, apart from how to avoid major faux pas, may backfire. I may as well use being a foreigner as an asset to take advantage of, rather than see it as a liability to be eliminated.
  2. I suspect that dating tips may make me less relaxed and less myself.

I think the only purpose to read the dating tips is to know, what themes should be avoided, and what themes or phrases can be rude for your opponent. But if you think this can't help you - you should not read the tips.

  • 8
    Did you really mean "opponent"? :o Is dating in Russia like praying mantis dating? – Andrew Grimm Dec 30 '11 at 0:50
  • @Andrew Grimm No, I just can't remember more suitable word. – VMAtm Jan 10 '12 at 5:55

It's human race out there man. Just do not break a law and talk confidently with politeness in your voice. Everything all will fall into place, I believe


Especially in Japan, being yourself -- outsider and all -- is a distinct advantage. Japan is so focused on social groups that you are instantly seen as an outsider (Gaijin) and any faux pas are fixable (and will often be considered "cute" or at least a topic of conversation).

In addition, Japanese women seem to like outsiders more than Japanese men anyway. . . Or at least my wife did!

PS. I love that you said "faux passes" in a question about dating. On purpose?

  • 2
    "On purpose?" - no. I think I can blame Piers Anthony for that one (there was a place called the "Faux Pass" in one of his books). – Andrew Grimm Jan 5 '12 at 2:20
  • 1
    Japanese women don't like outsiders; they love white. – Blaszard Mar 23 '17 at 13:39

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