5

In America, many people will find it rude if you are talking to others in a whisper within a distance at which they would hear conversation at a normal volume. I guess the assumption is that whisperers are `hiding something' from you. However, I have noticed that many foreigners will ask me, while we converse, why I am talking so loud, and will set a tone that requires me to really lean in close. As such, I am thinking that the taboo around whispering is a distinctly American thing.

Are there other cultures where whispering to avoid bothering others is the correct thing to do? Are there other cultures where whispering is taboo?

3
  • 14
    I, an American, have never heard of the idea that whispering is rude. But I have also found that loud annoying people in other countries are often fellow Americans.
    – phoog
    Commented Apr 30, 2018 at 21:00
  • 9
    Welcome to TSE. I, too, am American and have never heard of any taboo about whispering in public— whispering in front of dinner companions sitting next to you at the table is something different, of course. Consider too that one can speak softly without whispering, a skill Americans would be advised to develop when traveling to Japan or much of Europe, say.
    – choster
    Commented Apr 30, 2018 at 21:41
  • 2
    Note that the "loud american" has been a stereotype for a very very longtime. So it maybe that your question is really based on what different cultures consider a "normal" talking voice to be. (Ugh and I just realized that I commented on a 4 year old question)
    – Peter M
    Commented Aug 14, 2022 at 22:14

7 Answers 7

7

Are there other cultures where whispering to avoid bothering others is the correct thing to do?

I would say, in most European and Asian countries keeping your conversation down to the level that people around you are not bothered with it is the correct thing to do. This is especially true in mass transit. In "quiet" subway cars, for example, ANY kind of conversation is frowned upon and would give you weird looks (you'll see lots of people around texting though).

Are there other cultures where whispering is taboo?

I'm not aware of any, and this is certainly not the case here in America. And I agree to what phoog and choster said. Indeed fellow Americans are usually those loud people you can hear from across the street.

7

Whispering in general, no - it's OK to keep your voice down to avoid disturbing others (e.g. during movies, watching live golf, tennis, etc).

However, some people do certainly consider it rude to whisper in front of others. It's akin to talking to one of two (or more) people in a room as you're excluding them from the conversation.

4

I am American, and I think in our culture it depends on the setting. I've never found whispering to be rude; in fact, I find it more appropriate than not. There are many instances where one should whisper, such as during an exam, a recital, or a generally quiet place where no one is talking. To use full volume in such spaces disrupts the atmosphere, so it actually puzzles me when people decide to disrupt the silence. Sometimes whispering is necessary because people don't want their personal business out in the open. I might whisper that I have diarrhea and I need to leave a meeting; how embarrassing that would be if I blurt that out in the open! Not everything needs to be said aloud. So, I think whispering in American culture is very acceptable. Maybe other cultures don't have the same perspective on noise pollution and what's appropriate to say in public, but in America these things definitely matter.

1
  • 1
    Very. Much. This. The "ugly, loud American" is a stereotype around the world for a reason - it's far too true. If I'm on a bus or a train or just standing somewhere, I REALLY do not want to hear your conversation about all your personal business. Especially if you're across the room from me.
    – FreeMan
    Commented Feb 22, 2023 at 19:09
3

I am a Brit and was always taught that whispering in company is extremely bad form. I am currently acting as host to a Ukrainian lady and her 12-year-old son and he whispers to her a lot in front of me and it bothers me tremendously but I've been biting my tongue. I plan to continue to do so now.

3

For the majority of Arabs, especially the GCC Arabs, it's considered OK to whisper as long as you are within a group of more than three people.

If three people are together, and two whisper intentionally so the third won't hear, it's considered very disrespectful.

2

I am from the Netherlands. From a young age I was taught that it is impolite to whisper when there are other people around. Now I am in Indonesia, and the youngest child (of 12 years old) of the family where I am staying whispers a lot to his older sister (about 20) when I am teaching them English. It annoys me, but I have restrained myself from saying anything. After reading the comments here I think I'll go on trying to restrain myself. But if you ever go to Holland, remember that it's a definitely 'not done' there.

1
  • I am also from the Netherlands and I think the 'do not whisper' is not as clear cut as it is given in this answer. But if you are in a small group, you should not whisper to exclude one of that small number. When in a bigger group or an environment when not all people could hear you anyway whispering or speaking softly would be OK in NL.
    – Willeke
    Commented Feb 22, 2023 at 17:57
1

I travelled to France twice - once during the early 2000s and once in the late 2010s. The first time I went I did not know any taboos about whispering. While making a reservation for a restaurant, I paused mid-conversation with the person working there and spoke with my wife about the price in a semi-whisper conversation (keep in mind this only lasted 3-5 seconds). I returned to talk to the employee and I could clearly see that she was slightly annoyed.

When I returned to France in my second trip in the 2010s, I attempted to avoid doing this, especially when I'm paying for something, but I did it anyway in front of somebody. This time nobody seemed to be angry about it.

My conclusion is that it just depends on the situation and time period. Try to avoid doing this regarding purchases.

You must log in to answer this question.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged .