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108

"Sir/Ma'am, no thank you." or "Sir/Ma'am, I am not interested." Followed by (if needed) "Sir/Ma'am, I am sorry, but I specifically requested and was given this seat. I am not willing to change to another seat for any reason. Perhaps someone else might wish to help you."


68

The other answers are excellent, and correct. I wanted to share a few extra ideas because you specifically said: Do note that I am very shy and submissive in public. I also am a shy person that's, for various reasons, done a lot of travelling on my own. What I always say to myself is: You'll never see any of these people ever again. And that ...


61

First time I've heard of this, and I think it's nonsense. There is a strong social convention that people should give up their seats (not just the designated priority seats) for elders, very young kids, the disabled/injured and pregnant. Nobody will be offended or think you rude for doing that. They might call you out if you don't. The recipient most likely ...


38

There's nothing wrong with wanting some peace and quiet while traveling, to many people travel is more of a hassle than an enjoyment so I'd say it's quite common for travellers to expect non-social time. Not everyone is trying to chat all the time. Social cues and customs differ between countries, but I'd say in the West at least, if someone strikes up a ...


38

Simple You don't buy it Let's just analyse this for a bit shall we? You're not paying for the ice cream, you're paying for the experience. If you like ice cream but don't like entertainment or 'street entertainment' to be specific, buy your ice cream from somewhere that doesn't do that... Do not try and get the ice cream vendor to not 'do his show' for ...


35

No it is not rude. I've lived in London most of my life and travelled in hundreds of black cabs and can assure you that cabbies really do not care what you get up to in the back of the cab -- as long as you pay the fare, give them a decent tip and don't spill food/drink/bodily fluid.


34

I live in Japan (Tokyo) and no one gives up their bus or train seats unless the standing person is clearly incapable of standing for long (old, injured, pregnant). Then they are fairly good about it. What's really entertaining is watching two elderly people with canes / walkers etc. arguing about which one of them need the seat more. And it's the "good" ...


34

Unless it is a safety related reason, it will be very hard to change your seat without you willing to do so, that includes cabin crew. So, as mentioned in the other answer by @CGCampbell, just politely say no. You might get frowned upon but who cares! it is your seat and it is totally your right to be stuck with it. Something worth mentioning here, ...


33

I've been in a similar situation many times when travelling during business hours to/from meetings - or, often, when going to the airport - where I've had to jump in on conference calls where I knew it would be for the duration of the ride. I usually excuse myself before the call, letting them know that I'm going to be on a call (even if I'm not talking). ...


29

There is nothing wrong with having sex in hotel beds. Treat it like your own bed. Don't stain the sheets too much, since someone else has to clean it. Think of all the people going on "romantic breaks", or honeymoons, or a wedding. Plenty of people have sex in hotel rooms. You should put a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the door.


28

So, you should prepay for however much gas you intend to buy. In most cases, you'll probably want to either fill the gas tank, or just buy an amount of gas that corresponds to a nice round dollar amount like 20 dollars, to make the transaction quick and easy. If you want to top off the tank, just prepay for an amount that you know exceeds the amount ...


24

Close the door. Even better, place the Do Not Disturb sign too, particularly during hours when house-keeping usually takes place. Plenty of maids open the door quickly otherwise. You do not have to make the bed after, but do cleanup after yourselves if there are any fluids left outside of you or your partner(s). As a corollary, dispose of condoms yourself. ...


22

It'd be like going to a comedy show and telling the comedian off for making jokes at the audience. If it's expected and part of the 'show' or experience, it's what he does for a living, enjoys doing and to be told not to do it - well it'd be considered wrong. I'd hope you wouldn't tell the waitress not to ask about your day (she's being friendly as part ...


21

In my opinion Airbnb is nothing but a short-let provider. Yes people do rent out their spare rooms, and thus welcome you in their house. But they do so in exchange for money, very much like a hotel, or a bed-and-breakfast, would do. In that sense I don't think tipping is necessary. If you want to show appreciation to an excellent host, the best way to do ...


21

"I'm sorry but I'd rather not trade seats." If they insist; "No, I am not going to be changing seats, I'm sorry."


21

Avoiding conversation is easy: you can get all worked-up in advance, put on a mean face, and look like you're not willing to talk to anybody. However that's a lot of effort and might not be something that everyone can or wants to pull off. Hence I'd rather be relaxed whilst aiming to mind my own business. All in all I assume that some small talk might happen ...


20

My intuition as a Londoner was that this was absolutely fine, but then I had a moment of self-doubt and worried that maybe I'd been being rude in not talking much to cabbies all these years. So I sought out this ethnographic study of cab drivers: Inside the Mind of a Cabbie (RSA) and that has confirmed my impression that the time and space are basically ...


20

If you are very shy and have a lot of difficulty dealing with people directly, a very simple strategy is to lean back in your seat with your eyes closed and wearing headphones or earplugs until after takeoff. Most people will not disturb you while you're like this. I realize this isn't a direct answer to the question "how do I tell them no", but it might ...


19

Why not use a credit card and ask for a full tank? That's what I do. If you want to pre-pay in cash, it's ok to pay more than you need and get the change back. Cars usually have gas tanks that are 10-20 gallons in size. So if it is half full, estimate 10 gallons and pay for 10 x $currentpriceingallons. So if it is $3 per gallon, prepay $30 (or $40 to be ...


18

Every piano I've ever seen has had a 'not for public use' (or equivalent) sign on it. If you find one that doesn't it's still polite to ask, but they're probably content with people playing it if they don't say otherwise. Or they just installed it this morning and haven't seen the problem yet ... If you can play the piano decently I really doubt anyone will ...


18

I live in Japan and every day commute with trains and metro. And can assure you that nobody will think you are rude by offering the seat. From my personal experience: I have a rule to always give up my seat to Disabled/injured people Pregnant women (in Japan they wear a badge like this ...


18

You absolutely should never, ever swap seats with anyone. Here's a clever formula for you: say.. "I am not allowed to do that. Please bring one of the cabin crew. I want to speak to one of the cabin crew about it. I'm calling for the cabin crew. I've pressed the button." Whatever the prick says back to you, just keep repeating louder and louder, "I want ...


18

Here is an interesting article on USA Today Tech mentioning a few pointers for correct Uber etiquette: Plan to open the door yourself, although most of my drivers have been quick on their feet to do that for me. Most riders sit in the back right seat, on a diagonal from the driver, which facilitates talking – or just giving directions. If you want ...


17

I would feel comfortable sitting down at any piano that doesn't have a sign saying not to. Assuming they don't have music playing that you would be in competition with, and assuming that you're good and aren't going to play the same thing over and over, I would keep the following principle in mind: It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission. - Rear ...


15

Generally, the only etiquette involves getting informed consent. If you are unsure how to get informed consent, I suggest following this script: Party #1: Pardon me. I hate to bother you. Would you like to do it? Party #2: Why yes. And it isn't any bother at all. Party #1: Then we shall do it. Party #2: Agreed.


14

I totally feel you. I had this happen to me for a seat that I had paid extra just to be seated there. I politely informed them that I had specifically requested this seat and would not change my mind. The person seated did not bother to move and seemed indecisive for a little while and I just waited for him to come to terms with what was happening. Finally ...


11

I give my seat pretty often in Tokyo. I can tell that it is never rude. On the contrary they are very grateful, so much that usually I prefer to keep a distance afterwards. Also sometimes they won't accept it to avoid bothering you, so I insists and say that I will get off soon anyway.


11

I think what you describe happens quite often in parts of the world where the pecking order is based on age, so teenagers rank slightly better than animals, but only slightly. Older people try to take undue advantage of their position in the pecking order. I have been in the same situation as you. I found that the best solution in such a situation is to say ...


10

You should pay enough cash to cover for the quantity of fuel you want to buy. In case you prepaid more than needed you should have no problem getting your change back from the cashier. On the other hand should you have prepaid less than needed, when refueling the machine should cut you off as soon as the prepaid amount is reached. You can always prepay a bit ...


9

No, I do it regularly. There are even spaces on trains and busses that are marked for the elderly, pregnant, disabled, etc. where the able-bodied may sit but are to give up their seat if anyone in greater need of it shows up. It is not uncommon that the person you are giving the seat up to may initially refuse your kindness because it is polite to be slow ...



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